


The Honesty of Goro Akechi

by SfrogPlus



Series: Gifts For Some Neat People [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Cognitive World, Crack Treated Seriously, Detectives, First Kiss, Honesty Through The Roof, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Life is Rigged, Live As We Know It, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, THERE IS DEFINITELY NO SPOILERS TO SEE HERE, That Last Tag Is A Full-on Liar!, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23985784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SfrogPlus/pseuds/SfrogPlus
Summary: This was originally a crackfic that was made by IWP_Chan but instead of smoking crack here we EAT IT. Thanks, IWP_Chan for letting me write this and Seidecim and EndovaElixabete as well.Akira Kurusu could feel himself slowly going insane, his brain deteriorating into pink mush that he would probably never want to eat unless he was being threatened by a loaded gun to the back of his neck after being tortured to death- But he thinks if he didn’t have a brain, he wouldn’t be able to go through all of that.And now he stands in front of a detective that says he is going to kill him and Akira hopes to never meet him again and- Oh wait, the detective's cute. Akira can let it slide for now.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, How Many More Names Is There Of The Persona 5's Protagonist That I Can Ship With Akechi
Series: Gifts For Some Neat People [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741915
Comments: 13
Kudos: 62





	The Honesty of Goro Akechi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IWP_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWP_chan/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Honest Betrayal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13921290) by [IWP_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWP_chan/pseuds/IWP_chan). 



> I guess they never saw it coming, NEITHER DID YOU.

Akira Kurusu could feel himself slowly going insane, his brain deteriorating into pink mush that he would probably never want to eat unless he was being threatened by a loaded gun to the back of his neck after being tortured to death- But he thinks if he didn’t have a brain, he wouldn’t be able to go through all of that.

His life sure has been one crazy whirlpool ever since he was framed for an assault in his home town by some stranger he didn’t even know, and then the whirlpool has only been growing, bigger and bigger.

Moving to Tokyo, from his house with his parents and his friends to a dangly attic where his new caretaker treated him like he was the most disgusting thing alive? That was simple enough, something he could handle. Finding himself in an alternative plane of existence that was basically- No, _exactly_ the unconscious mind of humanity? Manageable enough. Having learned everything in your life was a lie and a cat yelling at you 24/7 to go to sleep, to watch the television, and go to the unconscious mind of humanity? A little bit of a burden but okay. Becoming the leader of a ragtag team of teenagers and that so cat that makes you grumpy, as well as going into bad guy’s minds and destroying their perspective on the universe because they are annoying? Uh- Just give him a second.

Having all those things was one thing, but what was happening to him right now was _far beyond_ anything he could even imagine. And that said a thing or two about his lifestyle. “Kurusu-kun? Are you listening?” ah, right. He was still in this dream. Was he dreaming? He must be. There is no possible way-

“Uh- yeah.” Real smooth, Akira, _real smooth_. “Yep, I was totally listening. One more time though, can you repeat it?”

In front of him was a cute boy- Rather, a cute detective his head was spinning for. Russet hair down further his nape, cowlicks patted down and neatly styled, running down the center of his face down to his nose, fair white skin with a pleasant smile falling on the detective’s face as he tilted his head at Akira, who all the pleasantly tried to not stare back. He wore a gray double-breasted blazer that somehow suited him, and black slacks, leather gloves that had not a speck of dust on them. 

This detective’s name just so happened to be Goro Akechi, unless all the reports on such a name were wrong and everything was a lie. “Oh- Alright. I was just saying how glad I was to have found you, and I wanted to thank you.” Thank him? Akira stared blankly at the wine-eye high schooler.

“Huh?” His answer was simple enough, stupid enough. It made him seem like an idiot and Akira was indeed trying to sound that way.

Goro Akechi gave him an even brighter smile, blowing Akira away. “For confirming a hypothesis of mine to my thoughts, Kurusu-kun. I- Oh! I’ll talk to you later when I just so conveniently meet you outside of this proximity.” Akira blankly nodded as Goro Akechi pulled out his phone.

“I found your free will to speak mindlessly rather coherently to be unique. Shall we exchange contact information, so that in the later destiny I may meet you in future time? Though that’s a lie-” Goro Akechi said, “Don’t worry, I’ll be coming!” He yells to the people calling for him.

Akira slowly pulls out his phone and hands it to Goro Akechi. “Um… Yeah, what you just said.” He watched as Goro Akechi walked away from him in absolute silence. A frown falls onto his face as he processes what just happened to him.

And then he just so happens to bump into Goro Akechi again, in a hallway, and now they’re talking about a conversation between pancakes that he pretends to have never heard. And then Goro Akechi just so happens to bring up a rather _sour_ subject.

“I know your cat can talk. In fact, I know you’re the phantom thieves. I’ve known ever since you started defending the phantom thieves to such great lengths. After I befriend you, I plan on threatening to join your team and then betraying you after!” He gives Akira a smile and a heart attack. “Oh- But don’t worry, I’ll kill you quick and fast, Kurusu-kun. Just for you.” That sends a shiver down Akira’s spine.

Meeting a cute guy who heard your talking cat when only those who’d been to the Metaverse can, and hearing the same cute guy deduce that your group was the Phantom Thieves and declare that he was going to one day infiltrate their group and kill them all in the same breath? Uh-

“What the- For real? You’re joking, right!?” Ryuji yells. Akira can see him clench his fists, “This… Why the fuck did you just announce your plans so easily then? You have to be kiddin’…” Goro Akechi gives a small laugh that sends Akira into a coma. 

“No, I’m not.” Goro Akechi smiles at them- more specifically, Akira, who is rather silent during all of this. 

“I’m one-hundred percent sure he is indeed kidding,” and oh- The cat speaks, “No sane person would announce that they were about to kill us before killing us.” Goro Akechi only laughs once more.

Akira decides to speak up- Because he is the leader of the phantom thieves, the “so-called savior” of most of their lives- and not because he is curious about Goro Akechi. “Is this normal for you? To be so truthful?” He decides to humor the cute detective.

“Of course. After all, everyone seems to like me better this way.” Goro Akechi tilts his head again and flashes that weirdly pretty smile. Akira can feel his face turn into a soft pink that he hides behind his round glasses.

After Goro Akechi leaves, Ann and Ryuji look at each other, almost in sync, then to their poor leader. The cat in his bag meowed at him, “He, well, he is… Are we sure that was Goro Akechi?”

“Who tells people that they know they are the phantom thieves!?” Ann practically screams, “We are so screwed…” She lowers her head and mutters things about sweets, and how her life has been screwed because of them.

“It ain’t our faults he knows! He’s a shittin’ detective for fuck’s sake. He must be kidding though when he said murder though, right?” Ryuji screams as well, a little too loud for both Akira and the whole world. Akira heard a voice crack at the end, and he can’t help but wonder as well.

The stress of an average daily high schooler is sure to kill him one day, Akira thinks, and cute detectives that figure you out too quickly to not be real. He hears the others say more, but he cancels it out.

He might actually die from a cute detective named Goro Akechi that is too smart and honest for his own good, and Akira can’t help but want to laugh at himself for even thinking he was even going to last his entire life. This was all some wort of strange dream, right?

* * *

The Thieves would have brushed it off; except it turned out that the same guy was a recognized, genius, if a bit eccentric, high school detective. And deeper and deeper into the Alice hole they shall go.

Which initiated a mad scramble to research this teen detective, one Akechi Goro, or perhaps two, to figure out more about him. And maybe Akira searched a little too much and found a little too much. And maybe that little too much was about a little too much for Akira to say, or for him to even think. And maybe the fact Goro Akechi kept texting him even at the late hours of the dark sky about the cryptic descriptions about how he was going to end Akira’s life got him a little too excited for something he didn’t want to think about made him blush, but none of that mattered.

“Ah, hello there everyone,” Yusuke says, brushing a piece of blue strands off his face with a somber smile. He shuts his eyes, and Akira can’t help but think he is _way_ too comfortable here at Leblanc, at _his_ attic. “Welcome to Leblanc.” He’s sitting cross-legged on the stool beside the counter. Boss is next to him, shining some silverware with a towel, or maybe he was frying it, who knows?

“Hi, Boss,” Akira waves as Ann bows, before quickly running next to the stairs.

“Oh- Hey Yusuke! Nice’ to see ya here.” Ryuji grins, “Listen, we found another interview again.” Ryuji sits down next to him and shows him it as if to shove it in his face (They are keeping score of how many they can get before they go insane from hearing that polished voice of Goro Akechi, which Akira wouldn’t admit was lovely-), and Akira stands behind the counter, next to Boss. He likes how Sakura doesn’t step over his boundaries and decides to ignore them as Akira grabs some snacks from the cabinet and they dash upstairs.

They situate themselves onto spots around the room where they can view the small screen of Akira’s small television. Morgana pouts as Akira puts him next to Yusuke, telling him to stay since he wouldn’t be able to see if he moved next to Ann.

Their endless search led the phantom thieves to watch past interviews about his success, and his ever-growing fanbase girls ranging from all ages of in solving the mental shutdown cases, to the cold cases they vividly described- Goro Akechi vividly described to such great detail Akira felt sick to his stomach. Or maybe it was the pang of guilt Akira got for thinking about how happy Goro Akechi seemed in this interview, unaware that a group that didn’t exist yet was looking at this and trying to observe him like a creep. 

_“Oh, but what is your secret, Akechi-kun?” The talk host said in an ever-pleasing voice, hold the microphone close to their lips. They gave a wide smile and Akira couldn’t help but think they were so fake, so pretentious compared to that strange enigma of a smile_ _Goro Akechi gave to the camera, eyes wide and interested_ _._

_Goro Akechi_ _chuckled like it was the most natural thing ever to him, “It’s almost like I’m the one who committed them to further the machinations of my-” Akechi paused to look at his leather gloves clenched into a finger ball, “A certain somebody that shall remain anonymous conspiracy to become the next prime minister, and then kill him after.”_ He has a small smile on his face, Akira notices, as he fidgets uncomfortably with his fingers. A nervous habit, Akira thinks.

“Holy shit… The fuck is wrong with this guy…?” Even after all the interviews, Ryuji was not yet used to the rather enigma that is of Goro Akechi’s perplexing personality. Akira was rather used to it now, the quirkiness that follows Goro Akechi’s path. He liked it a little too much, Akira thinks as he remembers the string of text messages that were sent between Goro Akechi and him last night.

_The talk show host obnoxiously laughs along with t_ _he audience, “You have such a unique sense of humor, Akechi-kun!”_ _Goro Akechi_ _looks intensely at the talk host for a second, as if contemplating something, and in the end, frowns. “Hm? Is there something wrong-”_ The voice is quiet enough to not be noticed by the other thieves, but Akira can hear the sound muttering underneath Goro Akechi’s breath, and then Goro Akechi widens his eyes again.

_“Thank you.”_ _Goro Akechi_ _nodded earnestly, interrupting the talk host, “I get it from walking through the collective unconscious of humanity, mind you that may be rather long, but one could get rather used to it.” His voice is polished and neat but doesn’t sound like he practiced saying that._ Akira hears a small pause in between as if trying to figure out what else to say. He finds that cute.

_“That must be quite the walk, Akechi-kun.” A small chuckle falls off the lips of the talk host._ Akira feels like he is losing brain cells due to the lovely, cute, pretty Goro Akechi with his hand limbs jumbled up underneath leather gloves.

_“There are trains and rest areas, so I manage. Well, as long as the Reaper doesn’t shoot me dead.”_ Akira sure hopes not. _Goro Akechi_ _smiled widely. “It has been rather crowded down there lately… and the rain has been getting to everyone’s head I can only guess.”_ This was a video back when Goro Akechi was still Akira’s current age, and Akira wishes he was framed for assault earlier. Hey, maybe Goro Akechi would have met him in Mementos, who knows?

His fellow thieves take a glance at each other, used to Goro Akechi’s constant truths, say, “He’s crazy.” Akira hears his phone ding, but he ignores it for now.

The video fades after that into something else entirely, Goro Akechi’s love life. The others try to make it stop then, but Akira insists on leaving it, not because he may or may not have a blatant crush on the detective prince that threatens to kill him every now and then, which he has now grown fond of.

_“I do have a love life,” Goro Akechi tells them, truth or not._ Akira stares at the screen and doesn’t blink _, “Though the person I have it with has yet to come in the picture.”_ And then Goro Akechi does his final move and tilts his head with that award-winning smile, and Akira hears his heart do a triple-double, an aerial, and then a full heart attack onto him. It’s such a cheesy line, yet Akira can’t help but profusely blushing.

“Hey Akira- Uh, are you okay? You look really outta it, dude?” Ryuji notices, patting Akira’s back like that would help him. Akira buries his head further into his hands to cover his red face. Ann notices as well.

“Oh- Our gracious, wonderous leader that doesn’t hesitate to hit on anybody, help anybody, and go to shady places and do shady things beyond repair is blushing!?” She sounds to be mocking him, and Akira groans, stuffing his head further into his hands. “Oh, for what reason is our amazing, capable of being a delinquent and honor student, blushing? What do you think, Ryuji?” She’s totally mocking him, and totally not getting away from it later.

“I don’t know. Maybe he remembered something he did as a kid. I did a whole shitload of fuck as a kid.” Ryuji said, kneeling in front of the raven head. “Like not studying, and procrastinating until the very end… or- Uh, I can’t come up with too many right now.”

“No, no, no. This looks more like a girl thing… You _have, have, have_ to tell me later. Akira, _please_?” Ann begs. Akira doesn’t answer like he always does. “What do you think, Yusuke?”

Akira peeks up for a second, to only see Yusuke high speed swifting his pencil across his notebook, and he seems to be drawing… Akira. 

“Ugh, I hate you all…” Akira grumbles as he leans even more into his hands. “But, I have a confession to make, I think I’m hardcore dying for Akechi-kun… Or would it be senpai?” Akira puts out his tongue and tries to cover his blushing face as his friends say their reactions of shock.

“How the flip do you have a crush with someone that threatens to kill you 24/7 that you only met like, a couple of days ago?" the cat is hasrdly amused, "and don’t think I haven’t seen those messages you two send to each other,” Morgana says, and Akira knows the cat is judging his tastes- as well as all his other friends when pardoning the artist too busy drawing him. “I know when you’re awake, and when you’re asleep.” He has to add, which makes Akira suddenly so very self-aware.

“I don’t wanna talk about it…” Akira groans, and Ryuji wacks him on the head, saying, “Shut up, we’re fucking kink-shaming you and you can’t talk- Just remain mute like ya’ usually do!” Akira can feel the impending smiles burning into his skin, and he feels like dumping his friends.

“I’m done drawing,” Yusuke announces.

* * *

Akira could feel eyes burning into his back, and he sighed when somebody- A rather neat person, came his way with a weird smile. “Why, hello there, Kurusu-kun. This meeting was not a coincidence, as I was stalking you all the way from Leblanc to the station.” He fidgets with the case in his hand that he always carries, staring at his hands for a second then flickering his eyes back to Akira. “Though I’m sure you already know that.” 

“What do you want this time, Akechi- Uh-” 

“Goro is fine, because there are no formalities towards somebody that will kill you in the future,” Akechi- _Goro_ interrupts, “Or would there be..? Well, no need to think too deeply on that, as you will soon die.” 

“As you happen to keep telling me,” Akira adds, a little frustrated he couldn’t get this guy to talk about anything else. “Listen, can we talk about something else? As much I love you, dear, and you keep telling me about how you want me dead-” He gets interrupted by the detective. _Again._

“I don’t want you dead,” Goro clarifies, “Shid- A specific politician wants you dead with the rest of those gangly members of your team, and then I plan on- Wait, I feel like I’m missing something. Sakamoto-kun, Takamaki-san, Yusuke-kun- Oh yes, I forgot to congratulate you on getting a new member, Kurusu-kun. Congratulations!” Goro quickly drops his case and holds out his arm with a smile, for a _fucking_ hug, with that funny gleam in his eyes that makes Akira feel happy. Akira reciprocates it awkwardly and let’s go when Goro doesn’t.

Flashbacks of when he first met Makoto. The horrid look on her face when she learned that the famous enigma of Goro Akechi knew that they were the phantom thieves before her but haven’t informed the police, and told him how he wanted to kill him every day with that shining smile.

_And Akira was fucking in love with that face of the enigma of Goro Akechi._

“Er- Yeah… Thanks. How do you know that again? Remind me, please.” Akira thanks, scratching his neck. He can feel his face grow red but he tried to hide it with his glasses and hair. 

“Well, it was the only logical explanation,” Goro hums, picking up his case. Akira can’t help but notice he is still wearing those gloves. “I wouldn’t delve any deeper, as I’m afraid I would bore you.” Goro laughs, and Akira’s heart jumps.

Goro continues speaking, “Anyways, pardon me for taking up your time, but I have to run to the police station. I happen to have an interview there and it takes quite the time.” He checks the watch on his wrist, and so does Akira. Five minutes before the train comes.

“Oh… Alright. Say bye to Morgana as well, then, I guess.” Akira says, confused. Goro forcefully pets Morgana and waves bye to Akira before he runs the other direction at high speed. Akira blankly stares at his path, before telling Morgana to shut up and deal with it.

“B-But he just…!” Morgana tries to argue but fails to get the words out when he sees Akira’s face. “Okay…” Morgana mewls, and looks down.

Akira sighs, “I’ll get you some sushi when Goro and I go to the sushi conveyor belt.” He ignores the call of Morgana and rushes to get on the underground subway, people crowding around them as he gives an old lady a seat on the subway.

* * *

“Ah, hello Akira!” Goro _\- Wait, Goro!?_ Waved with a small smile on his face, one hand holding his briefcase, “I was waiting for you to come here, why didn’t you tell me your schedule?” Goro sounded thoroughly sad. 

“Oh sorry, _dear_ , I didn’t realize you were still trying to stalk me.” Those words felt so strange for Akira to say, and so strange for the other phantom thieves to hear. He drags out the word _stalk_ , just for all the people sending Goro a weird look.

Goro pauses for a second, to give the other phantom thieves around Akira a smile. “And… the other phantom thieves. I needed to talk to you all anyways… Oh, pardon me, I didn’t realize you were going somewhere.”

“It’s- uh, fine.” Ryuji says, “Wait- Hold the fuck up, when did Kurusu-kun turn to shittin’ Akira!?” 

“You were stalking Akira!?” Makoto asks, startled. She tugs on Akira’s sleeve, “Akira, you never told me this- Wait… does he know?” She says it in a whisper, but Akira is one-hundred percent sure that Goro can still hear her. Goro had hawk ears or something; One time, when Akira was a few steps away from entering Leblanc, and then Goro fell when jumping through the door, back when Akira still bothered to acknowledge the fact Goro repeatedly said, every single day, he was going to kill Akira.

Akira really wished his fond memories of the detective weren’t made because Goro kept on saying he was going to kill him; THough Akira was pretty sure, indisputably sure that Goro was lying. Akira really wishes they haven’t met this way, even if it was highly implausible that they would have met any other way. 

“Get used to it, Makoto. _Yes,_ he does know about the… t-the thing! But that doesn’t matter. He’s really smart, you know? So it shouldn’t surprise you. Uh- Yeah, sorry Goro, we’re kinda in a meeting right now. Though… We could all go to Leblanc, I mean, that’s where we were heading anyway.” Akira says, in the longest sentence he has ever said. His face grew a soft pink when he could feel the group’s eyes on him, even Morgana, poking out the bag like a cat-in-the-box, reading to spring out and attack him as if the black cat’s life depends on it.

“Whatever you say, leader,” Ann hums, whistling in the background. She then proceeds to laugh, “You know, I’m actually getting kinda used to it.” _Get used to a fucking top-rank detective that says he wants to kill your poor leader over here that fell for him?_ Yeah, was one living the life before Akira could get used to it either.

“Wah- You’re used to _that_?” Makoto mummers, one eyebrow raised and almost pointing at the head tilted, strangely smiling creature before them, called Goro Akechi. “Am I really the only sane one here?” Her voice cracked before she fully finished that sentence.

“Are you saying that I’m not sane?” Yusuke asked, in his weirdly smooth voice, furrowing his brows, “How insulting, Makoto. That is quite the boorish thing for you to say.” And then Yusuke turned mad. 

“Uh- guys? Stop arguing!” Ryuji yelled, “If not, let me join, I feel lonely when you don’t-” Akira shook his head as the thieves continued their playful banter.

“Do you thieves usually argue so much?” Goro asked, clearly interested. Akira didn’t notice earlier, but Goro was attracting a rather large amount of attention.

“We’re not arguing,” Makoto argued, “We are just… Yusuke misunderstood something.” She crossed her arms and made a defensive _hm!_ “Let’s hurry up and go to Leblanc. Sis will be mad if I come back home late.” Sis meaning Sae Nijima, her sister and a prosecutor that talked a fair amount about the phantom thieves, or so he’s heard from Makoto and Goro.

“Right.” Akira nodded.

The night rush of the wind blew past as they stood outside the shop of Leblanc, Akira’s current stay (in the attic) as well as a place to serve coffee and curry, a strange combo but nevertheless stopping Boss from keeping business. Makoto spoke up, in that defeated voice of hers, “Ugh… Sis is so going to kill me once she knows I came home late.”

“Hm… I’ve never had such an experience quite like that. May I come over to experience it, and draw how I feel to my full-extent?” Yusuke asked, observing the area despite the fact he’s seen it many times. Curiouser the wiser to be, Akira guesses.

“God, that’s… I’m sorry, Yusuke.” Makoto says, pitying him. Yusuke stares at her for a second.

“Very well, I accept your apology. Your sister must not want you to bring home a stranger.” Yusuke says, nodding his head. Then he turns to Akira. “Akira, may I stay at your place so boss yells at me? I feel the need to be inspired now.” Makoto seems to understand that Yusuke misunderstood, but doesn’t say anything.

“Uh- No.” Akira says, trying to lockpick his way into the shop, “Why is this so hard to lockpick? Boss really should have given me a key, and not just say there was one underneath the carpet...” He groans when he finally does, staying there for a second. He looks over his shoulder to find the other thieves entering and the detective saying,

“I didn’t realize the flow of time and how late it was turning to be,” He notes, “Well, that’s my fault. I must decipher that somebody will be quite exasperated at me when I haven’t answered _his_ phone call in a while.” Akira can’t help but notice how Goro talks about somebody when Ryuji runs in.

“Hey! Be more careful, boss is going to be so mad when he realizes I broke into his place…” Akira groans as he stands up and waits for everyone to get in, “Unlike some of you, boss will kill me before-”

“Before I can? Impossible,” Goro scoffs, setting his briefcase on the floor and sitting on the stool, “Don’t worry Akira, unlike boss I’ll kill you swiftly… Maybe through your heart?” He pokes Akira’s chest when Akira comes close.

“You really need to clam down that kink of yours, honey,” Akira says dryly, backing away. “I’ll make you guys some coffee and curry- though it probably won’t be as good as boss’s- so you can tell your… uh, guardians not to keep food for you.”

“Thank you as always, Akira.” Yusuke thanks, sitting into the middle booth and pulling out his sketchbook, “How much do you need? 50¥? Or 100¥?- Though… that takes a lot out of my account.” Yusuke seems to be thinking deeply as he pulls out a sharpened pencil.

“That wouldn’t be enough, Yusuke.” Makoto clarifies for Yusuke, “How much have you even been paying?” Makoto sits on the other side of Yusuke as Ann and Ryuji do similar places.

“Uh- We don’t pay. Boss gives it to us for _free_ \- A preeetty cool discount for being Akira’s friend. N-Not like we’re just his friend for all the discounts!” Ryuji says, waving his hands in the air. Akira doubts that those words would defend him when the others- excluding Yusuke- glare at him.

“More discounts? You better not be taking advantage of-” Akira tunes out the rest as they continue to bicker and laugh like friendly neighborhood children. He starts to cut up apples and prepare to make the curry. He glances at Goro, who was busying himself to staring at his leather gloves.

“So what did you want to talk to us, the phantom thieves, oh dear detective?” Akira asks, leaning over the counter. “Are you finally going to talk to us in a detailed, deep description about how you want to kill me again?” Goro smiles at him and opens his briefcase.

“No, though as much fun that seems, I’m afraid that I will be busy. I was deciding something though. What I should do after I kill you.” Goro sighs and Akira widens his eyes when he glances at the case- Rather, what was inside.

He left Akira speechless.

* * *

Futaba. The origin of Medjed and a new member for the phantom thieves after she woke up. Futaba, the daughter of Wakaba Isshiki, a researcher in the cognitive, distorted world drawing the desires of people controlled by the rules of society and people drowning in society. Futaba, almost like a sister to Akira. Futaba, a younger girl that was socially afraid of other humans almost like he was an alien.

Now imagine if Futaba and Goro met. Akira would hope that his head wouldn’t blow up and fall into a pit. Akira can only hope… And then they meet. Boss was rather busy with making orange juice for Futaba, as she was curled up in a stool with her headphones hanging from her head. Goro was standing by the door, a blank look on his face as he smoothly went to go sit down.

Futaba stood up, flinching as she rushed to hide behind Akira. 

“Hello.” Goro waves, before sitting down and setting his briefcase down. It was almost as if he was a regular here. He looks up to Akira, smiling at him, “Akira… And Sakura’s.” He gives a small glance their way. He is wearing his usual blue-crossed sweater and chestnut pants, as well as his usual, weird smile. 

Akira gave a smile back to him as Sakura paused to say an awkward welcome. “So, what brings you here today, Mr. Detective? I see you’re carrying… uh, why do you have that?” Akira glanced over at the flower bunch of different flowers Akira recognizes from his flower shop job.

“Oh! I was about to hand you these flowers for a new member of your team. I even specifically asked the flower lady to handpick these for me. Do you know what they mean?- Pardon me, I haven’t meant to ignore you, Sakura-san. May I have the house blend with some of your delicious curry?” Sakura nods, muttering something about a discount as he went to prepare, as well as Akira to take a break for a second.

“And Futaba. Don’t forget to say hi to Futaba,” Akira adds, glancing at the flowers in the bunch. He starts to help boss prepare the food as Futaba whines to hide behind him, ducking underneath the counter. Akira is pretty sure Goro says hi, but the loud sounds of the stove turning on burns the words out.

“H-Hi…” Futaba mutters as she goes to curl into a stool next to him, whenever he looks at her, she tries to hide back. “...”

“Anyways,” Goro says, looking back to Akira with a gleam in his eyes. “There are some red dahlias, meaning betrayal and distrust fresh from growing, and then I had somebody I knew dye some roses black to symbolize death, and a few chrysanthemums because, in Europe, they are used for funerals. I thought it would be fitting for what is to come.”

“That’s cute,” Akira nods, watching when Goro places them next to Futaba. He tells her something and shows her his briefcase. Boss tells him something and he turns his back.

“Neat uniform,” adds Goro, and Akira feels like he’s already dying from Goro’s comment. “Oh yes- I also got you a purple hyacinth, Sakura- May I call you Futaba? I call the others by their first name, and I would feel horrible for leaving you out.” Boss glances at them. But Akira gives him a small nod and boss seems to understand that.

“Oh, doesn’t that mean, _I’m sorry_ , or something?” Futaba says, furrowing her brows. “Why does Akira get the protagonist protection and I get the NPC type?”

Goro only laughs. “What if I told you I was forced to kill somebody close to you because of a politician that forced me too, and I would get killed myself if I didn’t?” Futaba widens her eyes.

“Holy shit…” Boss yelled at her to not curse, but Futaba ignores it, ducking her head with glaring eyes and 

* * *

“-And here is my Navigation app. I am currently blackmailing you to allow me to join you,” Goro smiles at Akira, “And I know you will.” It was happening today, the blackmailing of Goro Akechi to the phantom thieves. Amusement flashed in Akira’s eyes before he started to say;

“Okay. Make sure you give us your phone for a second though one day. I need Futaba to bug it so we can overhear your conversations and pretend that you’ve been lying about trying to be our teammate despite blackmailing us. And then when you try to get us arrested, we will fool you into thinking you’re not in the metaverse and leave me alive. Oh yeah, and Nijijma-san will be in on it as well.” Akira laughed at the look of surprise on Goro’s face.

“And then we’ll meet again in my father’s palace and we’ll fight,” Goro says thoughtfully, placing his hand up to his chin.

Ryuji speaks up, grunting while he kicks a box in the room. “Are we done yet? I wanna go look around the place some more and I reaaaaally can’t do that when you two are making out.” Ann tries to hold back a laugh but fails to do so.

“Make out? Oh… I get it.” Haru nods her head solemnly, “I support it!” With her honest to soft voice, Akira feels a smile falling on his face, from how hilarious their situation was.

“Are you… feeling okay in the head, Akira? I can take you to the nurse if you wish.” Makoto has to add, making Ann’s stomach hurt from laughing. Akira gives them a serious shake of the head, then turns back to Goro.

“Can’t wait for you to kill me, Goro,” Akira says, pushing in his glasses while Goro fidgets with his hands. “What would your outfit look like though…? For a friend.” From the awkward suspense in the air, Ann laughs even harder. And Ryuji tells her to shut up in his usual vulgar manner. And the everyday life of the phantom thieves shall turn even odder from this starting point, Akira thinks.

“Well, you see, I have two, as a proper antagonist. The only logical explanation would be to only show my average one which I wouldn’t ever use, as a proper assassin, and then when I need to kill you at some point or another in the metaverse, I should use the darker, as if specified just for that event, outfit.” Goro explains, flashing Akira a funny smile and tilting his head.

“The fight between black feather man and Red feather man showdown...!” Futaba says excitedly, “I can’t wait for that to come.” Akira wishes that it will never... And then it comes.

* * *

“...So this is the courthouse... You can tell it’s a revolting building just by looking at it.” Morgana says, sitting on top of the metal mailbox. “Let’s hurry up and get started, Goro, what did you find?” In front of the courthouse, stood eight popping teenagers and a weird black cat meowing awfully loudly. _How is a courthouse revolting?_ Akira wondered but quickly tried to focus on the subject on hand.

“Well, I recently had a nightmare where Akira drowned before I could kill him,” Goro says thoughtfully, hand on his chin. “Nijima-san thinks that this courthouse is a casino, by the way. I have been here when I was plotting the murder of Akira and bring the police.” Like any logical person, he decides to add that.

Akira solemnly nods, “And you planned on bringing them into the cognitive world.” Makoto makes a weird noise, perhaps out of confusion as she crosses her hands.

Ryuji widened his eyes, “Woah- that’s possible!? Holy shit, and I could’ve brought-” Ryuji stops once he sees the judgemental looks of the other thieves. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Did you seriously not realize? Ann was brought in before; That was how you two first met me.” Morgana says, “You really are slow.” He shakes his cat-like head as if in disappointment.

“Can we get back to the subject on hand? It’s getting cold and someone might start asking why there are a bunch of teens in front of the courthouse.” Ann complained, rubbing her arms.

Yusuke agrees, “Very well, we need to get this done quickly and fast.”

“Those mean the same thing, you don’t have to use them twice.” Makoto mutters, “But I agree. We are only here to scout the area and lay low for now. So… that briefcase has to go, Goro.” 

“Really? I think it would be funny if the security found out what was inside of it- No, you’re right. It would give them nightmares for weeks if they found out.” Akira says, changing his mind at rapid speed.

“Is it really that bad?” Haru asks, giving her friends a confused look. “I mean, I might have seen worse, as I have watched a lot of horror movies before.”

“It’s…” Goro pauses to look at everyone’s faces, saying _no!_ “It looks like I’m not allowed to tell you. It’s a spare for something, in case of an emergency.” He then proceeds to laugh, as if it was funny to see them like this.

* * *

“And now I will have you, Joker, the leader of the phantom thieves, get brought into my clutches!” Crow says. He leans forward, hands behind his back and frowning. “I wonder what you’re thinking right now. I was never quite able to grasp your mind into my hands.”

“That’s because if you did, I think I wouldn’t be able to think. You’re not supposed to carry brains unless you’re a zombie, Crow.” Joker argues, stepping away from him. He rubs his neck with his red gloves.

“Zombie? Or walker? Or do you mean-” Oracle takes a deep breath, “Reanimated-corpses-which-feed-on-human-flesh-and-turn-the-bitten-human-into-reanimated-corpses-which-feed-on-human-flesh?” Joker doesn’t care to try and understand the reference, staring at the detective in a red, long mask for a second.

The detective gives him a blank look back.

“So right now, they’re outside?” Queen asks, widening her eyes beneath her mask, “Wait… Are you serious? You can’t be, Akir- Joker’s is your- Uh, he’s more to you now, isn’t he?”

“For real!?” Skull shouts, “No, no, no, no- What the shit, Crow, I thought you were- You… We all thought you were joking.” He looked hurt, as he _did_ trust Crow, and as did Joker. 

Crow stares at Joker with that odd smile, tilting his head. Joker always wondered why his smile was always so odd to him, but he knows now. It was odd because it was so _honest_ for some reason. And it seemed so odd for Joker to see such an honest smile with somebody who was so honest. Joker regrets thinking Crow was lying about wanting to kill him and betray him the first time they met.

“Everyone, go,” Joker commanded. Everyone started to shout at him, yelling at Crow for some reason. Joker trusts Crow, and he trusts Joker. And they both knew that. So when after a while all the members left, Joker compliantly followed Crow out, every now and then glancing at the briefcase Crow was holding.

Joker tries to start speaking to Crow. “You’re honest, Crow-”

“Goro. Goro is fine, because there are no formalities towards somebody that tried to kiss you, you know.” Crow- Goro clarifies. Akira looks at him for a second, and Goro smiles that odd smile back at him.

Then leans ever so slightly forward and lets their lips touch, something, perhaps a pill slips into his mouth. And just for a second, Akira lets himself do the same, tugging on Goro’s sleeve. “Never thought my first kiss would be with my murderer,” Akira laughs; He can feel himself going insane.

“And I officially shot your heart once.” Goro smiles, and the sound of sirens flood into Akira’s ears when he faints, and everything drifts away. A small mutter falls into his ear, “I love you.”

_I love you too._

* * *

A newswoman stood in front of her counter, and Goro flickered his eyes to her words then to his leather glove, resting on his hand. She gave the teenager a small smile and then continued talking to the camera held in front of her.

“-The leader of the phantom thieves, a mysterious group formed at the near start of this year and has been inactive for quite a while, has been revealed due to the passing of him. Akechi-kun, can you be the one to reveal the leader of the phantom thieves? After all, you were the Ying to the Yang to this certain case.” Goro flashed her a smile, leaning his head into his hand and grabbing his microphone.

He took a small breath, and truths spilled out his mouth before he could think of what to do for dinner today. “The leader of the phantom thieves is a second-year student under the supervision of Shujin Academy, where the first case of the phantom thieves took place, the victim regarded to be the volleyball coach Kamoshida, who was about to expel him, if I remember him telling me correctly.” Goro places his hand to his chin, wondering if he should have curry at Leblanc.

The newswoman raises her eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. “I know him, and he is quite the interesting folk if I must say,” Goro chuckles at the mutters from the cameramen, how confused the live audience must be. “In fact, I called him my boyfriend at one point. He really likes to make coffee and curry in his free time and has more jobs than I can remember myself. The leader of the phantom thieves was just coming here from a rather small town called Inaba-” The town where the original detective prince lived. “Because he was framed for a case he didn’t cause. His name, Akira Kurusu- Though they told me not to say that to the public, they know how I can only spit out truths.” He laughs again when he thinks of the shocked faces of the other thieves.

“Wha- This wasn’t… Oh god.” The newswoman said, “Er- Akechi-kun, can you say that these facts are not lies?” Goro thinks for a moment, wondering if he really should have curry. _Curry boosts your immune system and is good for your heart, it also can boost my metabolism and eases my digestion... so it should be fine if I have it, right?_

“Because he’s still alive.” Goro decides he will have curry tonight, and then go to that crooked politician’s palace and go and see how Akira is holding up. Should he tell him that he announced Akira’s identity to the entire world? Well, there is no harm in telling the truth. 

“Because he’s alive.” She repeats, and Goro gives her an honest smile, a gleam in his eyes. “Are- Is- So... He was framed, you say?” Goro tilts his head, looking away from the camera and crossing his legs.

“Is there any reason for me to lie?”

* * *

Akira Kurusu could feel himself slowly going insane, his brain deteriorating into pink mush that he would probably never want to eat unless he was being threatened by a loaded gun to the back of his neck after being tortured to death- But he thinks if he didn’t have a brain, he wouldn’t be able to go through all of that.

His life sure has been one crazy whirlpool ever since he was framed for an assault in his home town by some stranger he didn’t even know, and then the whirlpool has only been growing, bigger and bigger.

Moving to Tokyo, from his house with his parents and his friends to a dangly attic where his new caretaker treated him like he was the most disgusting thing alive? That was simple enough, something he could handle. Finding himself in an alternative plane of existence that was basically- No, _exactly_ the unconscious mind of humanity? Manageable enough. Having learned everything in your life was a lie and a cat yelling at you 24/7 to go to sleep, to watch the television, and go to the unconscious mind of humanity? A little bit of a burden but okay. Becoming the leader of a ragtag team of teenagers and that so cat that makes you grumpy, as well as going into bad guy’s minds and destroying their perspective on the universe because they are annoying? Uh- Just give him a second.

Having god fall apart in front of you and have your life turn normal was certainly not how Akira expected his day to end, and have a whole bunch of dangly limb-to-head insane teenagers that might or might not get famous one day as his friends, as well as having the entire public know who he was and have a detective boyfriend that started their relationship by saying he wanted to kill him when he didn’t even know how he felt about homosexuals, and now that exact detective was coming back with him as rehabilitation- Akira head stopped ticking a long time ago, he’s sure.

“Akira? Are you having a fuckin’ seizure or somethin’? If I poke you will you fall over?” Ryuji yelled in his ear, as a cat yelled back at him that _when someone stays still they are not having a seizure!_

“Oh! Very well, I shall draw him.” Yusuke somberly nodded to himself before pulling out a sketchbook.

Futaba laughs, placing her headphones on her head and going into Yusuke-voice mode, “Very well, I shall draw him like one of my french girls.” She gets a couple of laughs from that, and an angry Yusuke.

“You guys... Stop being so loud! I need to focus on driving.” Makoto yells to the others in the back, and Goro says something about pancakes as they pass a store with a sign glowing bright green.

“I agree with Queen! You are being too loud!” Haru complains, resting her arms over the car seat, a small smile on her face.

“Hey- It’s not me! I haven’t even talked!” Ann yells to the other side of the car, brushing her hair out of a knot with her hand. “Well, now I have. But before, I didn’t even talk. I’m right, Goro? Right? Please don’t lie like you did last time.” Ann looks pleadingly over to the chestnut-haired guy in their van nicknamed ‘ _Stop telling the truth, it’s annoying_ ’ or ‘ _Akira’s boyfriend’_.

Goro only gives her a smile and the tilt of his head, and she sighs back into her chair. “Pardon me, but I have Futaba’s surveillance camera in Leblanc to clarify whether or not you ate the cookies, as well as the placement you put it in- Which only you put it in, I must add. Yusuke doesn’t like to eat cookies, Akira only likes to eat hot foods and certain snacks-” Akira doesn’t feel like saying something flirty to try and make the other thieves yell at him, “Ryuji likes meat, Haru was too busy with her vegetables that day-”

“Okay, okay!” Ann says in defeat.

Akira can’t help but wonder if he’s dreaming of being here, being with his friends, his detective, his crew, and his cat. And he can't help smile at the fact Goro lied about going to kill him.

“Uh- Guys, really though, Akira looks like he’s having a stroke,” Ryuji tells the others.

“What part of Akira _smiling_ makes you think he’s having a stroke?” Futaba asks in a curious tone, “It looks more like he... has diabetes- No, no, no! Like he looked at Goro’s briefcase for too long and got hypnotized!”

Akira laughs at his friends and thinks for a moment. He wonders how it would have been if Goro hadn’t been so honest, if he actually planned on killing and betraying Akira. And then he tries to wave that thought away when Goro gives him a smile, that peculiarly honest smile of his.

Akira smiles back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for IWP_Chan for letting me write this, and Seidecim and EndovaElixabete as well for inspiring the inspiration of the conspiracy to the center of the Earth- Wait, scratch that last one for... Uh- Government reasons. Yes, exactly those.
> 
> So I was bored in the middle of the night one day and decided to read all the Goro Akechi/Akira Kurusu fanfics in one go, and then I saw this. I didn't realize it was crack and went to reread it in the morning because my memory was sort of blurry, and then realized it was crack.  
> And then a few months after that, I heard a quote in the quotebook, saying "We don't smoke crack here, we EAT IT." And for some reason, I thought of this because I wanted to rewrite this as non-crack, and now here we are, with you reading this and me writing this.
> 
> Also, this is my first time writing Shuake- SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT SHUAKE STAND FOR I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS- *Ahem* Anyways, have a good day and don't do drugs kids-  
> That's the quote, right?


End file.
